My daughter turned 18-months-old last week, and next week she is moving into the toddler room at daycare. Standing at the door to the infant room for one of the last times, I had the epiphany so many other moms told me they experienced when their firstborn turned one: My baby isn’t a baby anymore. It was accompanied by a brief moment of sadness, followed by joy about how much my little girl has grown and what kind of person she’s growing into.

This happiness lasted for all of about thirty seconds before another parent bumped into me while picking up her own child. Together we commiserated and celebrated the move our children would make, right before…BAM! She hit me with the question I am most frequently asked (and least enjoy answering) these days:

“So when are you going to have another one?”

I have to say, I was fortunate enough to never be asked about my childbearing plans before getting pregnant with my firstborn. Therefore, it should come as no surprise that I was without words when first faced with the inquiry now. In the last six months or so, however, I’ve had lots of practice fielding this question as everyone from students to friends to family members has posed it. Here are some of the answers I’ve come up with:

For the Overwhelmed Friend With Many Children: Not quite yet, but I’d love for you to bring some of yours over for a play date one afternoon.

For the Childless Friend Who May Not Even Like Your Firstborn: Why don’t you come over for dinner sometime, and we can talk about it more then? My husband and I get home from work at 4:30; my daughter needs to eat around 5, and it takes her about 30 minutes to decompress from daycare through screaming. We’d love the company!

For the Co-worker/Neighbor: I’d love to have one right now, but I’ve got to get back into my pre-baby clothes first. Want to start going to the gym together at 5 a.m.?

For the Mother/Mother-in-Law: Don’t you like our first?

For the Distant Relative: I actually already had him. Did you get the announcement? I was wondering why you didn’t send a gift… He’s with my in-laws for the holidays.

For the Over-Sharing Stranger at Daycare/Playground/Target: I’d love to, but my first childbirth experience was extremely traumatic. Do you want have time for the story?

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